The ladies of the internet never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit.

Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets, threads and other posts from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

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[talking to myself] Please don’t start with me right now.

"rate your recent purchase" "rate your experience with us" enough. silence from you. our exchange of goods and services is now and forever closed

my dad really asked me how i’m getting to the airport at 5 AM lmaoo the answer is closer than you think babes xx

my neighborhood is hosting a bake off and i thought i could win with my chocolate chip cookie recipe. then i saw that the person who won last year made strawberry lemonade mini entremet. what did i think they were going to say ? “the winner is chocolate chip cookies” ? idiot

I love when I have to say my pet’s last name at the vet. It’s like yeah that’s right, this is my HEIR

I mean if you really want to hear Ed Sheeran without any opening acts you can simply get put on hold with your bank

trying to put my drunk bf to bed: “hand me your phone so i can set your alarm for tomorrow”“(half asleep) i can’t give you my phone because you cant know about the engagement ring i bought you. and all the photos i took of it. and the plans i made in my email.”fuckin guy LMFAO

the witch at spirit halloween waiting for me to step on her mat  pic.twitter.com/EKVBygo4US

made my boyfriend go to the south of france with me so we could go to the farmers market and go to small plates wine bars and he is smiling through it all pretending this isn’t the bullshit we do in god’s country bedford stuyvesant

Why does the vaccum even have a “low” setting. It’s like no I’m going to need you to clean the floor

the stripper loves me, and the record store guy respects my taste, and the barista is genuinely interested in my morning, and the tattoo artist thinks i can sit really well,

They say we should never meet our heroes, but my 93 year old grandmother ends all her phone calls with “Okay, I’m done talking to you now” then hangs up, and honestly that’s pretty heroic

I was raised in a household where you couldn't get in trouble if what you said was funny enough and this has not prepared me well for certain parts of adult life

I don’t really care if millennials act cringe and Gen Z refuses to fuck. Pandas do both those things and everyone loves them.

there are people who play the LinkedIn games every day and they just live among us. very scary

"I am not a robot," I whisper as I fail to identify all the traffic lights for the third time in a row.

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