“I lied so hard that I retroactively gave myself a heart condition.“

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"I did this as an older teen and into my early 20s, except that I said I was a Seventh Day Adventist. I did this so that while I was working in retail jobs, I could have Saturdays off. I had a friend who was an SDA when I was a kid, so I knew that they held Saturday as the holy day instead of Sunday." 

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.