“They referred to hiring a tradesperson as ‘getting a little man to do it.’”

As a staff writer at BuzzFeed, I write about all things celeb, pop culture, and books.

Some responses are from this Reddit thread as well.

"Twenty minutes pass. He thinks something has gone wrong, so he grabs a female manager and asks her to go into the fitting rooms and ask for Marie Osmond. The manager thinks she is being pranked and declines. Chauffeur buddy is in mini-panic mode now, running wildly around the store and asking random customers, 'Have you seen Marie Osmond? Have you seen Marie Osmond?' 

Store security is summoned, and he is asked to leave the premises right NOW. He calls his employer and tells them he has lost Marie Osmond. The employer doesn't have her cellphone number but has her agent's number, and he is not accepting calls. 

She has, in the meantime, taken a cab to the gig, thinking she has been forgotten. Lots of apologies eventually ensued, and there were no repercussions."

"Nobody wore robes, but I did see some people had those masquerade ball masks. People were friendly and talkative before being dropped off. Normally, they slept on the ride home. 

A few occasions that stuck out were a guy who had taken Viagra for the first time and told me all about it, and another guy who took his contacts out beforehand and always asked to borrow my contact solution and case. If you hadn't known they were swingers, you'd think they were just hiring a designated driver to keep people from getting DUIs."

"I drop off the first guy. He tips me $20 in cash. The second guy lives a block away. He asks me if I want to bang his wife. I decline again. He tips me $20, saying that he knows the first guy stiffed me because 'he's so drunk.' 

I went home and never drove that tournament again."

"Alas, since I was still working during the show, I gave them away to two friends who had never seen the band. They had a good time, and I had a fun story to share with them about how I scored those tickets.

Not really a shocking conversation and hardly a famous person, but it was interesting how easily and full of trust people can be about searching out and buying drugs in a strange city. For the record, this was 2003."

"The next week, he's shitting bricks because we're stuck in traffic with nowhere to go, and he's going to be late to a fundraiser his wife started for his kid's school. He made a big box store fold like a cheap suit, but 'unhappy wife, unhappy life.'

Another was an older lady who was the community gossip. She was going on and on, telling the stories of these prominent families who all belonged to the same house of worship. One was pretty well-known and influential, but, as she would tell it, flat broke. The rest of their community could not let it seem that way and buoyed them up. They kept living in mansions and driving high-end imports and getting added to business deals as a tertiary partner to replenish their fortune like rain gathering in a bucket.

One of my favorites was a guy who probably wasn't a billionaire, but he was in the nine-figure range easily. He always had great cars and tipped well, but he explained that all his cars were bought off lease. Someone else paid too much to drive it for two years, and now he pays for a top-end car but at a reasonable price. Any time he wasn't headed to his office or to get smashed at his country club, he was in jeans and a polo or a concert T-shirt. When his father-in-law, a nice old man whom we often drove to medical appointments, died, he texted each of the drivers from the service to thank us for driving him and having conversations with him, as he always had a good time and brought our stories back with him (most of us were active or retired military or LEOs). 

People who could buy a country if they wanted, but really just people in the end."

"Our current training facilities are fairly new, and our sports teams do not draw any crowds. We also bought an entire campus over a hundred miles away. 

Fuck this place, and fuck the administration."

"To be fair, he really did love driving, and the boutique was more my grandmother's thing. But she was very happy, and he enjoyed the schedule a lot more."

Note: Some responses have been edited for length/clarity.