A Larry David essay lampooning the Democratic Socialists of America is catching heat for being more cranky old man than cutting satire.

It was unclear if the famous curmudgeon was mocking the ascendent left’s platform or conservatives’ caricatures of the party in a piece published Friday on Airmail, where he parodies the DSA’s stances on immigration, policing, gender and Israel with quips that seem like they could have been plucked straight from Fox News.

In the faux manifesto, which nods to satirist Jonathan Swift’s canonical baby-eating treatise “A Modest Proposal,” David jokes about open borders where migrants are welcomed by a marching band, mandated workday siestas, white people serving as slaves for Black families and government-provided doggy bags for furry-identifying Americans (a bit with an uncanny echo to a right-wing hoax claiming public schools were providing students with litter boxes).

Confronting the clashes over antisemitism and anti-Zionism currently roiling the Democratic Party, the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” comic writes that Jewish people will henceforth be referred to as “The Bagel People” instead of “The Chosen People” and that “Caucasian women” will be forced to wear hijabs on weekends.

larry david boomer crashout over israel was not on my bingo card pic.twitter.com/VzOJVWPXu4

Another section declares, “We strongly believe in a two-state solution. To this end, we propose that Palestinians should be given all the land currently occupied by Israel and that Israel should be given Pitcairn Island in the South Pacific, where the weather is beautiful and grapefruits are aplenty. We think the Bagel People will be very happy there.”

Finishing with a trademark “anti-woke” gripe, he proposes comedians who cause anyone “emotional discomfort” should be committed to facilities to be “re-programmed” and “emerge with a greater awareness of the sensitivities of their fellow citizens,” lest they be exiled to Pitcairn Island with the Bagel People.

Striking a dramatically different chord from his 2025 Donald Trump takedown titled “My Dinner With Adolf,” some citizens of the internet wondered where David could have misplaced his signature wit while others said some of his proposals actually landed.

“Someone take the phone from gramps,” one X user wrote.

“Larry david boomer crashout over israel was not on my bingo card,” said another.

Putting things more plainly, popular poster Evan Jacobs, known online as “evan loves worf,” simply wrote, “This sucks I thought Larry David was funny.”

See more reactions right here:

My favorite part of the Larry David discourse are the people who think he is literally joining the DSA https://t.co/oZ2O1GZXUv

I know that Larry David is trying to do boomer liberal satire here but a pet death bereavement period sounds like legitimately good policy pic.twitter.com/DeO5bYTWuY

while this is pretty dogshit comedy for larry david standards, i must say that “businesses have to trade employees like they’re NBA teams” is maybe one of the funniest concepts i’ve ever seen https://t.co/wPEYN2JoD0

Yeesh, DSA is such a soft target but Larry David somehow manages to completely faceplant here. Painful. His inability to even commit to the Israel stuff beyond vaguely hinting at his aggrievement is almost worse than if he were foaming-at-the-mouth. 😑 pic.twitter.com/lmwAyTuzlq

Larry David writing “I identify as an attack helicopter” level jokes. Sad to see https://t.co/L7FcYnt8k9

Larry David now at sub-Bill Maher levels of humor and insight

All the people outraged that Larry David doesn't share their desire to destroy Israel are proving is how spot-on his last joke about the DSA was 😂 pic.twitter.com/wzdqsPAHgo

This sucks I thought Larry David was funny https://t.co/T9SEIx4ote

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