“I’m not a 50/50 woman. You’ll have to court me.”

I'm a Senior Staff Writer based in New York City, where I've been covering classic BuzzFeed-style content since 2020.

If you can't read the above, here are some of the "promises" this bridezilla is asking her bridesmaids to make:"I WILL remain my current svelte self (although I may tone up a little more) because gaining more than 7lbs may make me look plump in the photos.""I WILL take full advantage of the fact that there will be a professional stylist" and will "not make any major hair changes." (If a bridesmaid wants to make a change, she should send the bride a sample photo first along with "ideas about wigs or hair extensions" to prevent the bride "from having a hissy fit on the day.")"I WILL avoid having unsafe sex … three months prior to the wedding" because God forbid a bridesmaid gets pregnant and makes the wedding photos with groomsmen "look lopsided." If you do get pregnant, the bride will beat your (pregnant) ass.And finally: "I WILL not attempt to outdo the bride in any way because I value my life!"