“That was 30 years ago, and it has informed my successful career.”

Warning: This post contains a mention of abuse.

"I love that you give her credit. It's like a little way that her name and the memory of her life lives on and continue to exist today."

"I’ve always struggled with the cheesiness of this. How does one get past the voice saying this shit doesn’t really work?"

"You just gotta keep practicing, honestly. It's just like any other skill (e.g., drawing, learning a dance move, practicing a new language, etc.). You're gonna do it messily at first and might feel goofy as hell for a while, but eventually it will get easier and feel less silly. Just embrace the cheesiness for now and do it anyway."

"100%. Visited my brother in NYC dozens of times. Best advice he’s given me. Pays off with kids in sports, traveling, and going out. All of it! It has NEVER failed me to be proactive!"

"Now, when I'm genuinely torn, I ask something slightly different: 'Which choice makes me more curious? More honest? More alive? Which one gives me room to use more of who I am rather than constantly shrinking parts of myself to make the situation work?

"It doesn't mean 'always choose whatever feels good.' Sometimes becoming more yourself requires doing something difficult, disciplined, or terrifying. And obviously, practical things like money/responsibilities still matter. But I've found it especially useful when BOTH choices are reasonable, and I'm stuck overthinking which one is 'correct.'

Maybe it is not which life to choose, but which life I recognize myself more in, and sigh, I wish I'd learned that much earlier, because I would've spent far less time building versions of my life that looked right from the outside but required me to disappear inside them."

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.