“That’s right, folks. Instead of getting a vaccine, she just ate laundry detergent instead, because ‘There’s not enough research.’”

I'm a Senior Staff Writer based in New York City, where I've been covering classic BuzzFeed-style content since 2020.

We also used replies from the original Reddit threads along with these ones.

"Another patient also had shortness of breath and COVID, and believed it was because of boron deficiency. So she started taking ivermectin from the cattle and feed store, nebulizing hydrogen peroxide (yes, the stuff you use to bleach hair), and eating borax. That's right, folks. Instead of getting a vaccine, she just ate laundry detergent instead, because 'There's not enough research.' You wanna guess how much research there is on eating laundry detergent and breathing in hair bleach?"

"A pelvic exam revealed a mass which is easily removed from the vaginal vault, vine still attached. Upon extraction, the patient reports that her uterus had been falling out and that she 'put a potato in there to hold it up' and subsequently forgot about it."

"Same patient needed a shot of B12, which is done in the bum, so I told her to just hike her dress and drop her underbritches a bit. Imagine my surprise when she hikes her dress and tells me she doesn't wear underwear. And she didn't!"

"'Can you tell me how you use that? You don't need to actually show me, since that came from the trash.'

The dude tried his darndest to shove the opening (meant for your MOUTH) into his nostril, gives it a squirt, and snorts.

So yeah...we talked about the difference between a nasal spray and an inhaler...I hope he learned."

"She came around high as hell while we were still on scene and had a nice little chat on the way to the hospital. I don’t think there were any lasting effects. She was an amazingly lucky dummy."

"It took me an embarrassingly long time to explain to these people why she couldn't eat while she was unconscious with a breathing tube in. Nice folks, not terribly bright."

"Me: 'I'm really sorry you have been waiting for so long, but unless you want to talk about how your ankle pain is making you feel, there isn't anything I can do.'

It took a little convincing that I wasn't holding out on him. No, I wouldn't just 'take a quick look at it.' He was baffled and kept saying, 'But you're a doctor!' I'm not convinced I successfully explained the difference between a psychologist and a physician. I don't even think he was drug-seeking. He was freshly 18 and not the brightest bulb. He eventually limped off to the nearest urgent care. Poor kid. Hope he's okay out there!"

"I've had two patients who stare at the sun. They both said it's like stargazing because the sun is technically a star."

"I've also seen SO many women who think that their water broke, but once they are in triage, it is clear that they probably just peed."

Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.