“They talk about memories of abuse like it’s nothing. It’s off to others who have not been through it.”

Reader, writer, thinker, and nerd about all things pop culture and feminism.

Responses have been taken from Reddit threads 1and 2.

"Omg I feel this. I'm glad you put it into words for me. Because this is 100% how I am.

When my fiance and I were starting dating I'd stay at her parents place with her. She'd leave for work and I'd hide in her room and literally starve and hold my bowels until she came home or I had to leave. She would ask me why and I just couldn't be around her parents. They're nice people, great even. But I've been so conditioned to hide from parental figures that I hermit away in my room. Even when I got my own apartments as an adult I lived out of my bedroom 90% of the time. Fuck, dude." — chiksahlube

"I ended up knowing more about the nurses’ personal lives than I ever known my own parents. I went no contact to preserve what little sanity I had left and reminded them that I was never daughter anyways." — crispy-skins

"They talk about memories of abuse like it’s nothing. Idk it’s off to others who have not been through it." — Excellent-Vermicelli

"It happens because many of us got scolded and yelled at for perfectly normal and reasonable things, but people around us put an undue amount of responsibility on us/unfair expectations or were simply not patient even though it was nothing to be harsh about. Or people acted so negatively in ways that made us put all the blame on ourselves. We over-explain to put in distance and preemptively explain circumstances not under our control to keep from being yelled at. We try to nip that negative reaction in the bud. It's sort of like when dogs that came from bad homes immediately shrink down to the floor when anyone raises their voice or hands." — molsminimart

"Conversely, never apologizing or saying sorry. A total inability to understand when an apology is socially appropriate means that no one ever modeled that behavior for them. They never learned how to admit to destructive or harmful behavior and accept responsibility, nor did they learn how to express sympathy. That's a cold and rigid childhood." — Umklopp

"Edit to add: On top of this, my dad enabled her to control my life since I could walk and talk because he was never home a lot due to work. He’s trying to make up for it, in a sense, for example offering to maybe take a loan to let me rent a small apartment for a year while I save money and go to uni full-time; he knows the longer I stay with him and mom, the worse I feel (mentally)." – Anonymous

"But it's not like my childhood is missing. I definitely remember the ass beatings. DEFINITELY remember those. I definitely remember cuddling with my cat and hearing him purr. I remember my toys. Making my sister laugh. I have memories, it's just that they're jumbled and they fly by so fast. My memories only got coherent by the time I moved out. But is that a trauma response or just me getting old?" — johnwalkersbeard