“...I really wish there was more I could do for them.”

As a Writer at BuzzFeed, I write and curate quizzes, listicles, and articles about everything from pop culture and history to food and fashion.

Note: The following content has mentions of mental health illnesses, drug use, and other sensitive matters. Reader discretion is advised. 

"As a dermatologist, I was going to say the same. These patients often specifically refuse to see mental health professionals. It has to be a carefully nuanced discussion, and even then, only after building major rapport. We’re on the same side—I want you to get better too." 

"Building on that: Some people have more rigid ideas about what our list of mental health labels means, and most people have at least some preconceived hierarchy of what labels they dislike or feel more neutral or positive towards. 

People with significant mood cycling symptoms that don't like mood labels can prefer to see their symptoms through the lens of trauma or ADHD. People with significant ADHD can resist treatment for it and prefer to see their issues as willpower, mood, or even autism. Sometimes people with OCD symptoms only want to work on their cycling mood, anxiety, or ADHD. 

It's quite common to identify with half of what many bystanders would label as troubling symptoms (called ego-syntonic symptoms) and only want treatment for things you don't identify with or like. Once someone's begun identifying with a symptom or placed a stigmatizing label on it, it's a long process trying to reframe and relabel those issues so they can see the ways they're connected to the problems they do see as troubling." 

"But what happens when you encounter someone who is ready to receive help but is pathologically unable to adhere to the expected ways of how adults care for themselves and almost compulsively unable to respect professional and social boundaries? We go into these professions because we want to help people—within professional boundaries. But often the familiarity created in these relationships makes it easy for a professional to accidentally overextend themselves. People with DPD unintentionally exploit this, especially if a professional is newer and hasn’t had the opportunity to grow their professional backbone. 

I’ve worked with plenty of people with borderline personality disorder, but it was only during working with someone with a mix of Karen tendencies and dependent personality disorder that I started reworking my resume and shopping around for other opportunities. The constant texts and calls, the guilt trips, the inability to give any inch because they will take 100 miles, the time wasted focusing on helping problem-solve a simple issue, and the emotional labor required throughout.This person burnt out several professionals and peer volunteers because it is very difficult to transition someone out of your care who is consistently showing up and requesting more help. It’s a hard ethical justification, so it’s easier to walk away for a different opportunity or go on stress leave."