“It’s gone too far, and I can’t tell her.”

I’m a lifestyle and pet writer with over a decade of experience in copywriting, covering viral animal moments, well-being topics, and lifestyle trends.

"The assignment was a low-stakes secret, and dude goes on about almost POISONING HIS FATHER WITH MERCURY."

Mother checking her sick sons temperature

"Bless you, what a life. So glad things went better for all of you."

"The detail that you have them blocked on Spotify absolutely made this for me. Don’t even want to risk hearing their music."

"You may have saved her life. You're a phenomenal human being ❤️"

"I once turned down a birthday party, and later found out no one came. This was 40-plus years ago, and I still feel bad. Sorry, Roch."

Upset young man sitting at the birthday cake and looking at away. Concept of solitude in quarantine during the Coronavirus Pandemic COVID-19.

"My parents did that with my Beanie Baby cow. Every time I lost her, a new one would appear, and they’d tell me 'baby cow had a bath.' I still have two of them."

Fun fact: I had my bachelorette party in San Luis Obispo and took the entire bridal party to the Madonna Inn for brunch. Even though we had just had breakfast, everyone left with a slice of cake or pie to go.

"When I was in my first trimester of pregnancy, my intestines suddenly could make the most rancid farts. I’m talking eye-watering, room-clearing farts that lingered forever. Usually I could excuse myself and go somewhere alone. One day, while shopping with my husband and dad, I was trapped in the maze that is IKEA. I knew I didn’t have enough time to leave, and made this horrible trail through the couch section. My husband started gagging and assumed it was someone else, since his beautiful wife couldn’t possibly make that smell.

Yep, it was me, and that’s why it followed us through the entire IKEA."

I remember when my friends showed me the local makeout parking lot back in high school. I was horrified when we pulled in. My mom worked there.