Yeah, you couldn’t pay me a million bajillion dollars to share this.

I'm a Costa Rican-American writer covering all the impolite dinner party topics — religion, politics, witches, identity, Da Pope, and the internet.

We also added some stories that were way too good not to include from these two Reddit threads.

Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.

"The best part? I had labeled the Google doc 'journal' so that no one in my household would open it by mistake, out of respect for my privacy. Boy, that backfired. She realized that what she was reading was NOT my cover letter and never spoke of it again."

"Cut to a month or so of us living there, and we were having some 'us' time while our child was with my parents. We were in the living room when we suddenly heard a yelp. I looked up to see my sister-in-law and her boyfriend getting a shot RIGHT down Main Street of me and my ex!

His parents had rekeyed the place with the same locks as their house! His sister had tried to call to see if we wanted to hang out, and when we didn't answer, she decided she would just pop over! Who does that AND unlocks the door when no one is answering!?! The worst part was that his entire family acted like we were in the wrong. WHAT?"

"I'd only watched it in the years since on network television...and completely forgot that they always edit out the storyline about the couple who meet on the set of a porn film. Neither of us said anything, because what do you even say, and we watched the whole thing. We did not speak of it again."

"We were already walking down toward the boarding area, and I heard a loud voice yelling, 'Heather, you forgot something.' I turned around to see my grandfather gleefully waving a bra in the airport. Needless to say, my mother went to recover it, and I was beet red for hours thinking that EVERYONE knew what happened."

"He got out and opened the door for us. The passenger door creaked open, and mannequin parts poured out of the cab. My sister and I were mortified. All these years later, and it's just funny. I sure miss him and all his crazy ways. Love you, Daddy!"

"So anyway, we thoroughly enjoyed our shower, things got pretty loud, especially echoing off the bathroom tiles. Turned the shower off, and our son isn't crying. We think, 'SCORE, we didn't even wake him up!' and high-five each other. Then I hear my mother-in-law holler, 'You guys better put some clothes on before you come down here!' 

UTTERLY mortified, I throw some clothes on and slink downstairs. She AND my husband's 14-year-old niece are sitting with the baby in the family room. Apparently, he was crying while we were in the shower, and they could hear through the front door, so she let herself in, worried there was a problem. UGH."

"My mom had a friend over, heard me relieving myself in the dishwasher, woke me up, and walked me to the washroom. I still think of that one and only time I ever sleepwalked to this day, many years later, and CRINGE."