“Them red flags look like Six Flags when you’re horny.”

"What was even more confusing was that it felt super natural and right. Like it was a proper connection, despite the depraved kinkiness. Even when we kissed. Still to this day, it was the best sex I have EVER had. Still to this day, I hate her."

"Then one day my girlfriend gives me the 'let's just be friends' call, and as soon as I said 'no problem,' I asked if she minded if I gave the other girl a call. She did not mind, and I could tell she actually meant it. By this time, I had my own apartment, so I called the other girl up immediately and told her I had been dumped and asked her over to talk about the situation. She reluctantly came over, and then I told her I enjoyed her being mean to me and it made me want her more, and then we went at it and had 10-plus years of on-again-off-again misery. We truly didn't like each other, lol. Anyway, I was only ever able to find happiness once I let that relationship go. The moral of the story is that 'we aren't good for each other' is a valid reason to avoid a romance."

"Post-nut clarity had me driving sonic-speed home to take an hour-long shower. I was so pissed at myself for letting that happen. I wanted the last time I saw her to be her walking out of my house crying while carrying boxes of her stuff. It's been seven years and I haven't seen her since."

"I was visiting him and went to his house, where I ended up bringing a girl back, and he comes up to me and goes, 'Don't worry about your little problem, I have some Viagra at the house if you need it.' I was like, 'What? I've never taken that before, I'll be fine.' And he said, 'Well, I just figured, 'cause you couldn't really keep it up when we banged my ex, and she was hot. And that's when I said, 'Brother, I have held this in for so long, and now that she is engaged to another man, I have no problem telling you that I absolutely hated her for the six years you were together.' And he goes, 'Yeah, same.'"

"But then he kept being a prick and ignored the fact that anything had happened when he was around his friends. I was insecure and immature and let him get away with it for a couple of months; I'd be both his victim and his booty call, until I realized he was a dogshit person and I ended things. Funny thing is, when I told him we were done, he never spoke to me again. No more bullying, just never acknowledged me again."

Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.