Hi, I’m Dave, author of all those articles your aunt sent you that you may or may not have clicked on.These include: the most-read post in BuzzFeed history, this ode to grocery store music, the new and improved high school GED test, and this stunning exposé.

Pianos were falling through the floor, entire rooms were shaking... the whole place was basically falling apart like a presidential-grade Bluth model home before he stepped in.

The baby was found dead two months later after a whirlwind investigation involving many, many ransom notes and tens of thousands of dollars.

Legend has it he shot and killed a Confederate colonel instead of surrendering. 

The section of wall, known as "Old Dragon's Head," terminates at the Yellow Sea.

As you can see... it's in slightly worse shape than the eastern end.

The dome has been leaking radioactive waste for years. Insert poor-taste Spongebob joke here.

Gemini 8 was the first time two spacecraft connected in orbit, back in 1966. I would personally not be so chill after floating around space and landing in the vast, empty ocean.

The ship was attacked and sank a week later.

It also had the unintended effect of making the wearer look like your grandmother's lampshade.

Imagine sledding down a waterfall. Or better yet, image accidentally flying off a jump while sledding down a waterfall.

Which do you prefer? The heads or the rocks?

I don't want to be that guy... but it's sort of Las Vegas-esque.

It was held at a place called Boyle's Thirty Acres in Jersey City, New Jersey. Dempsey won.

RIP penny. You will, well, probably not be missed.

This picture, captured in 1933, showcases a range of "Hoovervilles," makeshift settlements created by the unemployed and named after President Herbert Hoover.

Looks like he runs the Tilt-A-Whirl like it's the army.

Never thought I'd see a Pope wear sunglasses. Well, maybe Innocent.

Imagine going your whole life and then one day hearing Babe Ruth hit a huge dinger while hanging on the farm. Chills.

Of course, like any story of a super old person, there's some controversy. Read more here.

Of course, like any story of a super old person, there's some controversy. Read more here.

Can't say that would be my first "don't need to use the bathroom" meal choice.

Always remember to throw a net over a downed plane in case it gets up and flies away.

Antinous was a lover of the Roman Emperor Hadrian.

He's pictured here wearing a necklace of Tutankhamun's. 

You can see some dudes carrying some stuff out of there.

Otto was eventually deported to Belgium, where it is not known what happened to him after the German invasion of the country.

Specifically in the direction towards Santa Barbara. Would love to cruise down those roads listening to Grand Old Flag or whatever they did back then.

Yup, looks about how you'd expect a Canadian invasion of the USA to look.

Actually, full disclosure, this is a bunch of actors, well, acting like they're penny hanging for the movie "The Great Train Robbery."

I think I did this every weekend in college.

Nice to know Capone was a fellow Old Tomato Face enjoyer.

I would've brought a couple treats, maybe.

Specifically those of the RMS Mauretania.

You can look up his crimes if you really want to know them. He received a 30-year sentence in 1971 and was released in 1991.

This is actually a reenactment taken shortly after. Looks a wee bit unclean.

Farmers, cooks, firemen, janitors - lots of different trades represented.

Not that there is such a thing. I'm just pretty sure it isn't high heels and dresses.

Cool photo, but thankfully we've stopped doing this.

It was pretty hard to miss. It cost $4,000 and offered up to 30 minutes of call-time on a single charge. Sounds like my iPhone after I update to this new IOS! Just kidding, Mr. Jobs.

There are many, many pictures of Fidel in and around baseball. You can look for 'em yourself. What do you think his lifetime WAR was?

According to the photo caption, they lost this game by five but Che had a hit.

She was committed to a psychiatric hospital at the age of 40, where she spent the rest of her life following a series of personal scandals.

How many people can say they have a golden statue modeled after them?

Clearly carrying a trophy for the Most Likely To Be The Frontman Of A Huge Band award.

You can see she’s wearing a full-length dress, typical of women’s tennis attire at the time.

They were part of a Japanese embassy to Europe. I know what you're all thinking: If only they could have been there 2,500 years earlier and helped the Pharaoh Psamtik III stop the Persian invasion of the Two Lands. SMH!

He was caught in 1957 and later declared legally insane.

She could also probably whoop your butt.

That's it. That's all I have on this picture.

I mean, that's a pretty comically sized box.