I’m genuinely heartbroken, but I also feel so seen.

Warning: This post discusses death and substance abuse.

"Same. Started smoking at 14 and finally stopped at 38. Now my gums and skin are still paying the price."

"That is such a huge betrayal by someone who (you thought) loved you enough not to do that. It happened to me. I was blind to it happening right under my nose and in my house. It led to a divorce. I am remarried now, and I love him, but there is a part of me that still hurts from that."

Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, you can call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and find more resources here.