Hi, I’m Dave, author of all those articles your aunt sent you that you may or may not have clicked on.These include: the most-read post in BuzzFeed history, this ode to grocery store music, the new and improved high school GED test, and this stunning exposé.

The unfortunately maimed tree measured 16 feet across.

Would love to hear the tree's thoughts on Leif Ericson.

I don't know what's worse: someone honking the horn really loud outside your home or this.

Over 30% of Earth is covered in that salty spew.

Let's be thankful there are some stricter rules about visiting the landmark.

Fun fact: It does not cost that little in 2025.

Apparently, actor Christopher Lee, who you might know as Saruman from The Lord Of The Rings, was in the crowd.

No jokes about bombs being dropped, please.

Got to think the house on the right is a two fridge household.

This picture is from 1939 and taken while 20,000 feet in the air.

They're made out of mattresses but something tells me they aren't comfortable.

The movie was, well, about raising the Titanic from the ocean floor. Interestingly enough, because the movie was made in 1980, the wreck of the ship had yet to be found. That's why "the wreck" is in one big piece here.

Slightly worse than the one in the Atlantic, I'd say.

At his heaviest, Robert weighed over 1,000 pounds.

A wise person on Reddit hipped the internet to the fact that if you scroll back in your phone long enough, you can see it for yourself.

That, and I don't say this lightly, is one big bear.

I think I would have also been the banjo player during the Civil War.

Me, personally? I'm dying from "Planet."

Imagine swallowing that. Would feel great.

He was a graduate student at Springfield College, tasked with getting young men to be active. Let this be a lesson to you: if you don't invent a sports by the age of 32, you are BLOWING IT.

Dr. Naismith is there in the suit. Surrounding him is John G. Thompson, Eugene S. Libby, Edwin P. Ruggles, William R. Chase, T. Duncan Patton, Frank Mahan, Finlay G. MacDonald, William H. Davis and Lyman W. Archibald. Now THOSE are some old-timey names. I think the Raptors would hang 1200 on them.

Well, one of the final few. Goodnight, sweet prince.

I'd imagine it's always a long, long day at the heavy-object-head-banging factory.

Would love to floss my teeth with one of those strands. Right folks?

I hate to say it... but imagine having to use the bathroom? Nightmare.

This post is NOT sponsored by any orthodontists. 

Quiz: Which Version Of English From The Last 1000 Years Are You?

Do not attempt to adjust your phone's settings.

It's called a Sitz Marker Study and it's for people with digestive issues. The rings are observed via x-ray as "tiny 'markers' to estimate how fast or slow food/stool travels through the intestines."

It measured over 28 feet and was probably caused by some sashimi.

Some call this "waste reducing," others a joke waiting to happen.

That's a lot of paint. Would love to chomp right into it.

That fire hydrant could play center for the New York Knicks.

"Boy, this Mort Cooper guy can really slang it."

Spiers was broke and needed to figure out a way home to his family, so he did what any person would have done: he posted himself.

The journey took over two days. Spiers stuffed himself in the box with some "tinned food, a torch, a blanket and a pillow, plus two plastic bottles - one for water, one for urine." You can read more about the whole ordeal here.

Too bad there would be another Great War for civilization less than two decades later.

It looks nothing like an apple. Not even like an orange.

For reference: she's 64 pounds, he's 200.

They were all found inside a patient post-autopsy.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the old-dudes-tasting-tea party.

This is what life before the Nintendo Switch was like.