Those were the words of Nara Smith, shutting down the label that has followed her for years during a recent appearance on Call Her Daddy. A label she says was attached to her simply because she shared videos of herself cooking elaborate meals from scratch for her husband and children.

For the blissfully unaware, Nara Smith is one of the internet's most talked-about creators, known for her Schiaparelli-cloaked cooking videos where she makes everything from scratch. She’s married to fellow model Lucky Blue Smith, and the couple have four children together. 

But there’s more to her content than the perfectly curated aesthetic that first caught people's attention. Smith has previously spoken openly about her struggles with lupus and eczema, explaining that her recipes became part of her journey towards understanding what worked for her health.

Despite that, her online presence quickly became wrapped up in a much bigger conversation about gender roles, motherhood, and "tradwife" accusations.

Never understood the tradwife discourse around Nara Smith when she was straight up in her kitchen looking like this pic.twitter.com/cX1sC0FTa4

Losers in the comments are saying her making things from scratch for her family makes her a trad wife 😭 ‘no one has time for that’ she is a content creator!! Her job is having time to make stuff for content!! Who told you to compare yourself to said content!! 😭😭 https://t.co/qlmUT7ERyb

this is when i knew that a lot of yall on here were idiots because yall saw this woman cooking meals from scratch for her skin condition and immedietly assumed she was a conservative trad wife lol i literally hate yall lack of nuance when it comes to examining women https://t.co/lmgzbAV2sd

A little tweakment? Shallow and conceited. Laser hair removal? Male gaze written all over it. Pink is your favourite colour? Bimbo. Enjoy a niche hobby? You're a "pick me".

And now, god forbid a girl likes to cook, eat well, and make a nice meal for the people she loves. Suddenly, you're submissive and very clearly a tradwife.

Smith may be the latest woman caught up in the conversation, but she isn't the first, and certainly won't be the last. The truth is, women are constantly having ordinary choices analysed and turned into statements about their supposed character. 

Which made me think about my own, and why something as harmless as enjoying traditionally domestic hobbies can suddenly feel like something you have to justify.

Despite being jarringly chatty at times, I'm an introvert at heart with the hobbies to match: cooking, reading, art, walking. I'm a big homebody; I actually like the comfort zone I've built, despite extroverts constantly trying to convince me to leave it. 

Which is why a conversation I had – ironically over a Dishoom chicken ruby recipe I highly recommend – caught me off guard.

We were talking about modern dating. Since I'm not on the apps, most of my first encounters tend to happen organically in real life or, of course, through the infamous Instagram DM.

*You know the type: slightly older, "you stay at home, I'll take care of the rest" kind of guy.

Just to be very clear: I am not trad. I am not a wife. I am very much (happily) single after 12 years in the trenches. I've done my time. 

Because while women have spent years dealing with unsolicited labels, this one weirdly stung. I can handle being called a blonde(ish) bimbo, a flirt (for maintaining eye contact while having a normal conversation, mind you), or even a "femcel" (for not wanting to go on a date) – but this one genuinely made me stop and think.

Suddenly, I was looking at my own life through someone else's lens.

I've always viewed Instagram in the same way I used to play The Sims – a little digital version of yourself where you create a world, show the best bits, and have a bit of fun. It isn't real life, it never has been. 

Yet somehow, I ended up with a faceless burner account because I subconsciously felt weird about people seeing something I genuinely enjoy.

Because the truth is, I actually love it. I love making a nice meal. I love trying new recipes. I love having a clean home (although I do have an unhealthy obsession with bleach). I love the little domestic things that, apparently, now come with a whole load of assumptions attached.

Feminism is about freedom, equality, and women having the choice to live the life they want – whether that means climbing the career ladder, travelling the world, becoming a stay-at-home parent, or making a homemade dinner for your partner because you genuinely enjoy it. 

The irony is that the very things feminism fought for (choice and freedom) can sometimes get forgotten when women choose things that look traditionally feminine.

There is a huge difference between wanting to do something because it makes you happy and believing every woman should choose the same thing. But the internet has blurred those two together.

It's time to make nuance cool again. Not every hobby is a political statement. Not every choice needs a label attached to it. And sometimes, someone making a meal, enjoying their home, or finding joy in the little things that were once considered "traditional" is exactly that – someone doing something they enjoy.