The ladies of the internet never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit.

Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets, threads and other posts from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

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why is there never an outbreak of something nice

do you think it bothered JLo when jennifer lawrence started getting called JLaw

terrible time to have a history degree & pattern recognition skills

day 1 no sugar https://t.co/XWOjuTcFbt

(first day as a doctor) hell, I don’t know. It could be anything

“Your parents’ names are blue on Wikipedia!” Ok well if you’d actually bothered to click on them they would be purple, and you would learn they redirect to the page “Suspected Night Stalker victims”

Having a nemesis with a public instagram profile who posts objectively mockable self-obsessed content is such a gift.

if my friend hates u i hate u-in-law

The theme of this World Cup is Countries Where People Eat Dinner Two Hours Later Than I Personally Prefer

You’re listening to Sisyphus FM, the home of non-stop rock.

The alcohol in a martini should be enough to kill the parasite in my ceasar salad, and then I'll pair it with fries, which are safe

i just dont think every company needs a quirky social media account https://t.co/CTasVTyOZk

If a woman reaches age 65 with a current NYC address and at least four active museum memberships, she will be issued one (1) complimentary pair of red glasses

meat cheese and bread bitches winning

we’ve got more “marry me” recipes in circulation than ever and yet the marriage rates keep falling. All those sun-dried tomatoes died for nothing.

and to my grandkids i leave 64 playlists i curated based on a specific feeling or experience

overheard a guy trying to convince his girlfriend to get a protein bar instead of the croissant she wanted and she said, verbatim, “just because you don’t like joy, josh, doesn’t mean i want to be miserable too.”

being parasocial doesn't count when I do it bc im much more normal and cooler about it

I’ll quit smoking if they invent another activity that lets me leave a group and go stand outside on my own for 5-10 minutes

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