“Our daughter ate a cigar when she was a baby...”

I'm an Associate Editor on BuzzFeed's Pop Culture team who spends my days fangirling over all my favorite TV shows and movies.

Some responses are also from this thread.

"When I am getting a massage, I find it so hard to think straight, and I used to always go with the intention of saying no to anything extra. But in recent months, I have found myself deciding to go, knowing what will happen. I would be devastated if my partner found out, and truly, it is not about a lack of love for them. I just really enjoy the experience, and it is an individual’s massage place, so I don’t worry about the person being compelled by outside forces to be there. But I also really believe it is so wrong. I just can’t seem to stop going."

"No firefighters were ever injured, if that helps. It made me a decent amount of money while I was in college. I've been out of the game for 3-4 years, but I'd love to get back in. I love fire."

"I used to be very shy and never really knew how to meet women before I matured halfway into my 20s. To solve this problem, I looked into sex work when I was about to turn 18 and felt that it was about time to lose my virginity. From that moment on, I had sex with sex workers about once a month between my 18th and 25th birthdays. I almost never visited the same woman, so it's fair to say I have had sex with about 80 women. The lack of experience I had as an S.O. and the fact that dating was very new for me when I met her made it unimaginable to claim anything other than that she was 'my first'.

She's so proud of the fact that she was my first, and she has linked that to all kinds of very sweet ideas about me that would be shattered by this piece of information.

Even worse, when I was making these visits, I told my closest friends about it. They will always have that on me.

I'm not really ashamed of what I did. I'm mostly worried. To me, those visits were a viable solution to a hard problem, and I often got very excited about those little 'adventures'. What turned this into the crushing secret it is now is just how impossible it is to talk about it without risking the entire relationship. You just cannot introduce yourself this way, and a correction later deconstructs the relationship.

"I was attracted to her cousin at this time, but only in a friendly way. I just thought she was a lot of fun to hang out with when she and my wife were together.

About a year later, my wife gets a call from V, asking if we could put V up for a couple of weeks. V was sick of their country's poor job prospects and wanted to look into moving to my home country. We, of course, said yes without hesitation, so V moved to our country, and again, the three of us got on really well. V and I got on even better than before because my Spanish was better, and her English came on by leaps and bounds once she was surrounded by it.

Then my father-in-law got sick. My wife decided she wanted to go back to her home country for a couple of months to look after him. She had a job that would allow that, but mine wouldn't, so I was on my own for a couple of months, just a few months after V had moved out of our place and now rented a room about half a mile away from us.

So, just like when my wife would be home, V and I went out all the time, only ever as friends, just hanging out. And then I started to realize that I had real feelings for her. She was much more my 'type' physically, she shared more of my sense of humor (more sarcastic), from some of the more intimate talks, I knew that she was interested in sex (one of the things I discovered about my wife was that she has a VERY low sex drive) and a whole bunch of other things.

So, for two months, we hung out and got really close. During that two months, she also hung out with my group of friends, and one of my friends expressed an interest in her. It was a member of the group who was a bit of a 'dweeb' for lack of a better word, and had no success with women at all, but he and V seemed to get on socially, so it seemed like the perfect out for me and my feelings for her. I would hook them up, and things would go back to normal.

They did hook up and started dating. I was genuinely happy for V. I couldn't be with her, but I wanted her to be happy, and this guy was really nice and wouldn't screw her over.

Then my wife came back. She has never said anything, but I suspect she felt something had happened (although I stress that at this point, nothing had happened between V and me).

I worked at a bar at the time, and my wife, V, and her now-boyfriend came in to hang out while I worked. At the end of the evening, V came in for a kiss (it is completely usual to kiss on the cheek to say hello or goodbye in our circle) and totally by accident I turned around the wrong way and we kissed on the lips.

It really was an accident. I was happy V had found her man, and there was nothing lingering in the kiss. But my wife decided that was an indication of something bigger. When we got home, she grilled me about whether anything had happened while she was away. I (honestly) told her that no, I had always told her that V was hanging out with me and my friends, I made no secret of it, and nothing beyond that had ever happened.

My wife forbade me from interacting with V. I refused, arguing that nothing had happened and that just because she didn't like V didn't mean I had to not like her, too.

I never sought out V's company again, but we would chat friendly when we saw each other at gatherings with family and friends.

V married that friend in the end, then a few years later, they got divorced. Between them getting married and breaking up, my wife and I moved to a different town a LONG way away (like plane ride away long) and I promised (mainly because it was the easiest option) not to interact with V again.

I still hear about her regularly through friends and family. Of all the people I have met in my life, she's the one I feel I came closest to connecting with, but I console myself with the thought that it was never meant to happen."

Responses have been edited for length/clarity.