“I’ve been married for 48 years. My advice: Don’t believe you can change your spouse. You don’t have magical powers to change someone, so either love them as they are or don’t get married.”

As a Senior Staff Writer at BuzzFeed, I cover real-life stories that explore relationships, lifestyle (including travel and beauty), and the internet's most fascinating trends.

"You can never know exactly what will happen, but you can make informed decisions that improve your chance of success."

"The pressure of being a 'married working mom in a modern world' has destroyed me. But, of course, I won't stop, I have bills to pay and mouths to feed... It's a depressing existence. Bottom line: find a good partner who appreciates your efforts. Maybe I wouldn't feel so alone if I picked someone different."

"As it turns out, I love planning trips, occasional outings, and family gatherings. So he doesn’t have to bring the experiences to me. I can go get them myself without pressuring him."

"Yes, some of my spouse's habits that I find annoying — he's a 'pack rat' for one — he has tried to improve. And I will try to work on those that annoy him. But we are who we are, and our ingrained habits aren't going to change for anyone."

"You look at us together, and you'd swear we are not married based on looks alone. We love different hobbies and have some different food preferences. Still, we've also grown together with some things, and our interests have kept us talking about different things, so it's never boring. You don't have to be two peas in a pod, but you also don't have to be chalk and cheese. Like damn near everything in life, there is a balance. Some similar people work, like my best friend and her man. Some polar opposites work. Regardless, you must keep thriving as individuals and have your own things but still come together at the end."

"If your marriage feels like hard work, you won't want to be in it. You will inevitably want out if there are no rewards — only a long, slow, resentful slog."

"Sex does not have to end in mutual orgasms. Sometimes it’s about them. Sometimes you. Enjoy it either way — without keeping score."

"To escape my abusive father, I met a guy at 20 and moved in with him after two weeks of dating. Because of how angry I was at him for the abuse and my siblings for not protecting me, I alienated everyone while our father convinced me I was unwanted by the family due to being neurodivergent. I cheated on my boyfriend, stole his money, and gave him even lower self-esteem. In 2004, we got married, and I don't even know my wedding date. After our wedding day, I realized I wasn't in love with him, and I married him for a place to live. After nearly 30 years together, we separated in 2021. I moved out, but we see each other twice a week. We have yet to sign the divorce papers, and I don't think we ever will. I do love my husband but can't live in the same house with him largely because I'm still discovering who I am and building a relationship with myself."

"A sense of humor, allowing each other to be who you are, encouraging each other's goals, supporting each other's down times, loving the other person even when you don't like them at that given moment has gotten us to 48 years of marriage. And I love him more than ever, even when he aggravates me."

"I was married 42 years before my husband passed. They weren't always rainbows and butterflies, but we got through them together as equals, with shared interests and individual pursuits."

"We don't know what our relationship will be going forward, but we realize that since we have known each other for nearly 50 years, we will have some relationship that is yet to be determined. We each continue to do our best, which is the decision for this chapter of our life."

"Most of the time, it's nothing you did, but keeping your partner awake just causes them to be mad at you."

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.