“It was the most nonchalant sh*t I’ve heard.”

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"It was already the second-highest villa category we had, with only five of them on the island, but they wanted better. The only thing above it was the presidential villa, so I took them there. They loved it. We negotiated an additional $12,000 per night for the upgrade, bringing the total to $27,000 a night. The place was a 1,000 sq/m mansion with every imaginable luxury, plus a private phone with a direct line to me 24/7 until they departed. Then the requests started. His mistress’s 33rd birthday was coming up, and he wanted me to organize a surprise with no budget limit. Done. He wanted a reserved seat at the bar every night, even though we didn’t do reservations there. Done. Before departing, he handed me an envelope with $2,000 — my tip for their seven-day stay. Total cost of the trip, all in: $230,000."

"He also wanted his shirts lined up by colour in the closet. After freshening up, he called me to get the villa cleaned. I arrived with housekeeping, and in the bathroom, he had somehow used all the shower gels, shampoos, and conditioners, and there were two entire rolls of dental floss in the trash. It was weird. He then told me that when his friends arrived, I should take them to the bar, sort out spa treatment bookings for the next day, and tell them he was on a business call. So I went to pick them up. There were three attractive women — American, Australian, and an English bird — accompanied by some man who looked like a mix of Keanu Reeves, Sawyer from Lost, and Brad Pitt. Apparently, he was some Hollywood director’s son. I took them to the bar as requested. Then, the guest called me and said he was ready, so I took them to his villa, now floodlit and fully stocked with Dom Pérignon. He started telling the girls about his private jet. They were planning to fly to Paris Fashion Week with the director’s son, but he told them to cancel that and come on his private jet instead. *Giggle giggle.* They wrapped up around 4 a.m., and I finally went to sleep. I woke up at 8 a.m. to him calling me to his villa because he wanted to order breakfast to the room. His order included an omelette with everything, cappuccino, tea, every fruit juice we had available, bread baskets, fruit platters, sunny-side-up eggs, scrambled eggs, cereal, and a newspaper. When I got there, his friends were gone, and he was alone. He told me he wanted me to stay and keep him company. Then, while I was standing there listening to him have his breakfast, he started calling employees. First, he called someone I assumed was his personal secretary and began reciting numbers from a report entirely from memory, asking why there was a discrepancy. She was on speakerphone and immediately threw some guy named Peter under the bus. Poor bastard was apparently on vacation with his wife and kids, but the guest didn’t care — ‘phone him.’ So she did. They ended up on a conference call while he stayed quiet and let his assistant question Peter about the report. Peter asked if this could wait because he was on vacation. That’s when he revealed he had been listening the entire time by suddenly shouting and absolutely berating the poor guy, just short of firing him. I was in disbelief. He ate tiny bits of everything and left most of it untouched, obviously. Then his friends came back for their massages. He informed me he was leaving that evening and needed me to settle his bill. I handled everything, then came to his villa to process the payment and escort him to the pier. Housekeeping was already outside waiting like vultures for handouts. I went inside, and they followed behind me to ‘clean after he left.’ He paid the bill, then looked each of them dead in the eye one by one, shoved his hand into his pocket, pulled out a wad of cash, threw it on the bed, and said to me, ‘This is only for you.’ Off to the pier we went. Safe travels, you weirdo."

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.