“I don’t need to be useful to be loved.”

I'm a New York City-based Staff Writer who enjoys covering lifestyle, relationships, and women's content.

"Looking back, it's like I was just existing and nothing else, and now I can't look at a man or think of being in another relationship as something that'd add anything to my life. I keep wondering why a relationship with a man is supposed to be my first priority and why that should be the center of my happiness. I feel like I can be a whole, fulfilled person without the male-centered relationship, and that's been such a fucking revelation for me. I can't wait to show my daughters that decentering men is, in fact, a valid option and that my life holds value even while I'm not filling a role in a man's life."

"I realized I'm just happier this way, too. I don't expect anyone else to drop everything and run to me. But I've also built a community of friends and neighbors whom I help out and can ask for help from when needed. But I know that just because I ask, they don't have to say yes. They usually do, but I know I'll be okay and can pivot and find another solution if they can't."

"After that, it took some time, but I completely stopped dressing and doing my appearance for the male gaze. I don't shave, rarely wear makeup, put my hair in a top knot most days, and don't get highlights anymore, and I dress in comfortable clothes and shoes. I look completely different from how I used to, even my voice and facial expressions are more natural, and if I don't feel like smiling, or laughing at bad jokes…I don't."

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.