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A young California couple, Emma and Brian, appeared on Caleb Hammer’s Financial Audit podcast and admitted something that may be shocking to most viewers.

“I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t look at the account unless it bounces,” Emma said during the episode (1).

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Emma and her fiancé Brian live on the same property as her ex-husband, share financial responsibilities across households and are raising four children — all while struggling with mounting debt.

Brian admitted his spending hasn’t helped. “A lot of the times I just won’t care… I’ll go out to eat every day when I’m at work and I’ll order on Amazon all the time,” he said.

That combination, financial blind spots and impulse spending, has left the couple drowning in debt while raising four children.

Brian admitted that he rarely checks the accounts.

“I just don’t look at the bank account,” he told Hammer. “I just want to spend the money even though I can't.”

Emma said the situation isn’t much better on her side, “There is no organization, I’ll be honest.”

Financial avoidance is extremely common among couples dealing with stress or debt.

When no one took ownership of the numbers, small spending habits quietly spiralled into major financial problems for the couple.

And while they’re certainly not alone in their financial predicament, small tweaks to mindset and approach could have kept them out of trouble — and can even now help them set their finances straight.

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Instead of guessing how much you have left in your bank account, tools like Monarch show your spending in real time so both partners stay on the same page.

The couple’s spending habits snowballed quickly into debt. They financed everything from travel to food purchases using “buy now, pay later” (BNPL) plans.

At one point, they admitted they had dozens of active installment payments.

“You have 40 to 60 current paying fors currently. Colton's telling me more than that.,” Caleb said in the podcast.

Even after tapping Emma’s retirement savings to pay down debt, the cycle continued.

She added, “We paid off a car… and then we racked them up further than they were.”

This is a common trap with BNPL services.

Each purchase may seem manageable — a $40 payment here or a $25 installment there. But when dozens of payments pile up at once, the total monthly obligation can balloon into hundreds or even thousands of dollars.

Installment services can create the illusion of affordability, encouraging consumers to spend money they wouldn’t otherwise pay up front. Research from Harvard Business School found that BNPL adoption led to “immediate and substantial increases in spending,” with the likelihood of making excess purchases increasing from 17% to 26% (2). Shoppers spent about 10% more per purchase on average after BNPL.

This dynamic escalates quickly. Imagine someone finances just 10 purchases at $200 each using a typical four-payment installment plan. Each purchase may only require $50 every two weeks, which feels manageable on its own.

But if all 10 purchases overlap, that person suddenly owes $500 every two weeks, or about $1,000 a month. And that’s without factoring in the cost of borrowing — the interest rate of the loan itself.

When debt spirals out of control, some households use a strategy of consolidating balances into a single, lower-interest loan.

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Emma and Brian’s purchases weren’t large expenses, but the frequency with which they made them quickly inflated their debt.

Brian admitted that impulsive spending is one of his biggest weaknesses: “I blow a lot of money just on stupid stuff all the time. That’s my big problem.”

Some of that spending goes toward collectibles.

“[I] probably [spend] about a thousand bucks a month on collectible crap,” he added.

Between daily takeout meals, Amazon purchases and impulse buys, the couple created a constant stream of new expenses that made it nearly impossible to reduce their debt.

Without a system for tracking spending, these small purchases can quietly derail a budget.

Money problems often extend far beyond the bank account.

In the podcast, Emma admitted she has grown frustrated with Brian’s passive attitude toward finances: “I feel like he doesn’t [care]… he’s just there.”

She confessed to feeling a built-up sense of resentment over the financial situation and Brian’s lack of care for their shared obligations.

On the other side of this, Brian shared his frustrations that he wasn’t being heard. He told Hammer, “A lot of the time the outcome I want won’t happen.” But, clearly, complacency hasn’t served the couple either.

Financial disagreements are one of the most common sources of stress in relationships.

According to research published in the National Library of Medicine, 40% of disagreements in long-term relationships involve finances (3).

Additionally, an Ipsos poll found that one in three American couples view money as a source of conflict in their relationship (4). This figure rises to almost half of the youngest partnered Americans (18–24-year-olds). In the same study, couples admitted to being untruthful about their money with their spouses in 36% of cases.

When couples don’t agree on priorities, whether it’s spending, saving or career decisions, money problems can quickly become personal conflicts.

For couples dealing with complicated finances, a neutral third party can sometimes help.

Financial advisors can help households create a realistic plan for managing debt, building savings and planning for the future.

Advisor.com does the heavy lifting for you, vetting advisors based on track record, client ratios and regulatory background. Their network is made up of fiduciaries who are legally required to act in your best interests.

Just enter a few details about your finances and goals and Advisor.com’s AI-powered matching tool will connect you with a qualified expert based on your situation.

You can even schedule a free initial consultation with no obligation to hire, helping you determine whether the advisor is a right fit.

Once you’ve got the right financial advisor in your corner, the next step is getting a clear picture of where your money is actually going.

Early on during the podcast, Hammer pointed out that financial tools and resources are more accessible than ever: “You have access to every resource that existed in the history of the world.”

For couples in similar situations, these are a few basic steps that can make a huge difference:

Track spending and build a realistic budget

Stop relying on buy-now-pay-later plans

Build an emergency fund to avoid future debt

Consolidate high-interest balances

Look for ways to increase income over time

Even small improvements can start reversing a cycle of debt. And once you’re out of the debt spiral, it’s a lot easier to build substantial wealth.

Even small investments can grow significantly over time thanks to compounding.

For example, investing just $5 a day (roughly the cost of a coffee) would add up to about $150 a month. If that money were invested and earned an average annual return of 7%, it could grow to more than $180,000 after 30 years.

That’s the power of starting small and staying consistent.

And the beauty of ETF investing is its accessibility — anyone, regardless of wealth, can take advantage of it. Even small amounts can grow over time with tools like Acorns, a popular app that automatically invests your spare change.

Signing up takes just minutes: Just link your cards and Acorns will round up each purchase to the nearest dollar and invest the difference into a diversified portfolio.

With Acorns, you can start investing with as little as $5 — and if you sign up today, Acorns will add a $20 bonus to help kickstart your investment journey. Investors can get started by setting up a recurring investment of at least $5.

During the episode, the couple rated their own finances a 2 out of 10.

Their story highlights a broader truth: Many households struggle not because they earn too little, but because they never build a system for managing their money.

The good news is that with the right tools, guidance and habits, even difficult financial situations don’t have to be permanent.

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We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.

Financial Audit (1); Harvard Business Review (2); National Library of Medicine (3); Ipsos (4)

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.